Love/ Hate Relationship!

Wondering if anyone ever have this kind of rendezvous with the "emotional rollercoaster"? One moment you are in love and the next moment, you don't feel the same anymore. It's like a continuos cycle...

This is the kind of emotions that I have; for this particular store, it's a popular "big box" store with stores all over US. Guess US residents will know which one I am talking about, the one with the "Red Dot"-(will refer it as RD). It became so apparent after I moved to this city?/town? last year ( let's call it as City of the Fantabulous), which RD is less than 2 mins away. The first time when I visited RD in City of the Fantabulous, I have a notion that it would be my favorite store of all time. I was mesmerized by the deals in RD, unfortunately, I did not have much time to look and shop around, having to lugged my then 4 months old baby. So day after day of that particular trip, my mind is only occupied by the desire to shop in RD. I have also discovered the end cap section with a lot of clearance items which some mark down will go as much as 75%, its not only a deal but a steal. hahah! I, openly admit that I am a compulsive shopaholic buying on impulse. Guess that is why Old Dude always inquire where have all our money ( his money is my money, but my money is my money) gone?... and what/where are the stuffs that I actually bought that is deemed as useful or needed? He is right, I love buying junks for the sake of buying. Most of the time, Old Dude will insist that I return the stuffs that I bought during my compulsive shopping spree but I will reason with him that we might need those items in future, besides, that I didn't spend a lot of money as I shop smart by buying items on clearance (yeah! Me that cheapo like that)....

I frequently will lugged my Little Dude to RD, loving and enjoying every seconds of my shopping spree. Everytime when I leave the store, my heart is so content, so fulfilled and most important of all, I am so darn proud of my cheapo kind of shopping skills. Indeed, I do feel so much in love with RD.

On Sat, I was happily checking all the mails that we received, flipping through the 4 letters plus a lot of other junk mails, out of a sudden, my heart just starts beating and pounding so hard; I could sense that one of the envelope holds a very important key as to my unstoppable nervousness. The moment of suspense is out, it's the RD credit card statement, I am not surprised at all! The statement was for XXX.XX amount, for your curiosity it's almost a three weeks fees to send a child to a licensed day care centre. That's a lot of moula spent on junks and don't know what ( aiyayar!). Imagining much bullshits, sweats, craps that my husband have to go through at work earning that amount of money. Suddenly, I feel guilty,very very guilty. I know, I know it's not the first time my conscience says that I am guilty, it does happens everytime I received my RD credit card statement. Perhaps, err, perhaps those many times that I have never learned! And those times that, I have told myself repeatedly that I am going to cut down my shopping spree in RD? What about those times! *Sigh*I am such an incorrigible person...I hate! I hate ..... RD for luring me with all your good deals ( haha! What a good reason to hate RD?)

Got to promise myself that, I am truly and desperately in dire need for a RD shopping rehab!

"See No Red Dot, Hear No Red dot, Speak No Red dot", hopefully soon enough my heart no longer yearns for you my beloved "Red Dot".